Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize