did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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