it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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