i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
