boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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