it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
