I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
