would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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