do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
