we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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