He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
