I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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