his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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