i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
