no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
