Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
