You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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