They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize