Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
