At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
