so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
