Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
