You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
