she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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