Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
