Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
