Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
