it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
