Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
