You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
