jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
