so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
