I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
