If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
we should paint friendship bongs
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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