so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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