I looked at my own cervix.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
