we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
