Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize