You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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