is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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