my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
