they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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