is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
