Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
