somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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