she was so not down for the gang bang
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I forget how to act sober
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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