I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
