I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize