I think my vagina is haunted
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
