In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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