left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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