sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize