do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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