Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
