Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
