I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
only you would photoshop your dick
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
