What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
