I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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